The Page Is Fucking Your Mother In Her Chocolate Slidey Hole

The page you are looking for is currently sodomizing your mother, your father, and the cat. Please check back later after the unbridled ass-fest. The Web site might be experiencing Erectile difficulties, or you may need to administer quality head.

Please try the following excersises in futility:

  • Click the refresh.gif (82 bytes) Oops button, or try selling your soul to Satan, because there is no way in Hell you are ever going to get this sloppy pile of dogshit to ever load in this lifetime, especially on your "Blindingly Fast" 14.4 connection.

  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that you are not a complete and utter fucking idiot. If you purchased an Emachine, you ARE an idiot, and deserve to die a slow agonizing death being stung on the face by scorpions.

  • To make Windows masturbate your hard drive, click the Happy Butt Juice menu, and then click Wally's Vibrating Anal Bananna 3000. On the Orifices tab, click Chocolate Slidey Hole. The settings should match those provided by your local Dominatrix, or Matco Tool Salesman. If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago.

  • Napster BAD. Money GOOD.

  • If the pimpley-faced overpaid smarmy cross-dressing 18 year old IT Technician has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can make a series of entertaining whirring noises and completely erase the contents of C:\. If you are using Windows MEŠ, this process will occur naturally. You poor bastard.
    If you would like Windows to try and cock up some other important system files,
    click Detect Settings Ass Ju-Ju-Bee v.A55

  • Some sites are a catastrophic mess of javascript and cuckolded ass-backwards HTML that only work on obscure Linux distributions. Click the Fuck Off menu and then click About Why You Are Such A Loser to determine what method of suicide is right for YOU.

  • If you are trying to reach around and be a decent bottom for a change with a anthropomorphic dog that has a cock the size of a '69 Buick Riviera, make sure your anal ring settings can support it. Click the Ass menu, and then click Ass-Shoehorn. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Security section and check settings for KOND0m 2.0, D14PhR4gM 3.0, Astroglyde 1.0, BUTH0L 2.5.
  • Click the Ohh-La-La button to try another fucking porn site that wont load.

Cannot find a decent bitch with tits as big as watermelons. I mean, is that too much to ask?
Internet Exploiter 0wNs j0000!!11one!!!!~@!

In the time it took me to make this page, I just made $1,234.62. Don't you wish YOU worked for Microsoft? I play Tetris and Unreal Tournament all day, spend 20 minutes writing an obscure error message I threw into the latest "Service Pack" when a user loads up any file larger then 200KB and collect PH4t C4$h! I also added an ingenious script that makes Froyst's new web page sit there and never load.
j00 R pwN3d!