Please try the following excersises in futility:
- Click the
Oops button, or try selling your soul to Satan, because there is no way in Hell you are ever going to get this sloppy pile of dogshit to ever load in this lifetime, especially on your "Blindingly Fast" 14.4 connection.
- If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that you are not a complete and utter fucking idiot. If you purchased an Emachine, you ARE an idiot, and deserve to die a slow agonizing death being stung on the face by scorpions.
- To make Windows masturbate your hard drive, click the Happy Butt Juice menu, and then click Wally's Vibrating Anal Bananna 3000. On the Orifices tab, click Chocolate Slidey Hole.
The settings should match those provided by your local Dominatrix, or Matco Tool Salesman. If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago.
- Napster BAD. Money GOOD.
- If the pimpley-faced overpaid smarmy cross-dressing 18 year old IT Technician has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can make a series of entertaining whirring noises and completely erase the contents of C:\. If you are using Windows MEŠ, this process will occur naturally. You poor bastard.
If you would like Windows to try and cock up some other important system files,
click Ass Ju-Ju-Bee v.A55
If you are trying to reach around and be a decent bottom for a change with a anthropomorphic dog that has a cock the size of a '69 Buick Riviera, make sure your anal ring settings can support it. Click the Ass menu, and then click Ass-Shoehorn. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Security section and check settings for KOND0m 2.0, D14PhR4gM 3.0, Astroglyde 1.0, BUTH0L 2.5.
- Click the Ohh-La-La button to try another fucking porn site that wont load.
Cannot find a decent bitch with tits as big as watermelons. I mean, is that too much to ask?
Internet Exploiter 0wNs j0000!!11one!!!!~@!