Well, you clicked on this page, so you obviously would like to know some stuff about me. I'm not going to gloss myself over for mass consumption, nor am I going to expect everyone to accept or understand whats written here. And if what appears here in some way offends, alienates, or otherwise causes you to feel discomfort of some kind, you are merely a click away from wholesome entertainment elsewhere. And really, if you are shocked reading this on a site whose address contains "wereanimal", please go back and play with your squishy blue Play-Doh.
Some would label my philosophical and spiritual leanings as pagan, which incorporates many different facets of many earth based religions, including wiccan, and native american. I prefer nature spiritualist. I pretty much take what I like from many belief systems, and leave the rest. Like a Spiritual Salad Bar.
I am Garou.
I am also posessed of a somewhat rare, and potentially debilitating condition I have heard referred to as "Species Dimorphism". Put simply, my spirit is that of a wolf, unfortunately trapped in a human shell. I say debilitating because due to the society we live in, we have no shamans. There are no healers or Wise Men to tell a young confused animal spirit living in a strange human body what the hell is going on. At least none that will speak to a gangly white kid, anyway.
As my time here has waxed, I've searched for a path that felt right to me, and also I have evolved, matured, and grown. No established religion felt wholly complete or right to me, I simply did not feel comfortable participating in these rituals and practices that held no real bearing on my spirit, or my feelings of connection to the Earth, canines in general, wolves in particular, and the Moon.
As a child, I experienced a intense....."occurrance" that awakened in me the understanding and realization that I was not human, but a wolf that played at being one. And rather poorly at that. Knowledge about human interaction other children inherently knew was lost to me, I do not pick up on human body language and subtleties of communication among humans. And to this day, I struggle to understand humans and thier motivations....well, I don't struggle anymore, I dont really give a shit, more of a bemused pursuance, I suppose.
So one day I found spiritual guidance in, of all places, a game. A roleplaying game called Werewolf: The Apocalypse. The words in this book spoke of precisely the situations, feelings and emotions I had in a eerily similar fashion. The mythology/spirituality in the game, for those that do not know, is of a unified reality, which holds that all things have energy, and spirits of thier own. These spirits are all interconnected through a primary feminine "creator" they choose to call Gaia.
This spoke particularly strongly to me as I have always held that creation is a inherently feminine process. After all, it is not the male that invests so much of his body and soul to create life; that is the role of the female. The male simply provides the seed, it is the body of the female from which life grows, and is nourished from. I believe this extends to the aethereal as well as the physical, as any place as wonderful as this earth had to have come from a feminine power. But I digress.
Gaia has protectors, and they are werewolves. While there are aspects of the game I dont happen to agree with philosophically, the vast majority of it touches me on a very personal level. The connection the werewolves have to the earth, animals, the moon, the wilderness, spirits....and of course shapeshifting. All I lacked was the physical ability to shapeshift, which I wholly and truly believe exists, but have as yet divined no way to accomplish it. So, having said that...
Immediately this will likely bristle the fur of some folks, as this has deservedly negative connotations. People who consider themselves to be "therianthropes" believe this moniker to mean role players, fakers, and wannabe's. I do not, nor have I ever, played the game.
I have recently discovered an online format for the game, and have found it thought provoking, fun, and immeasurably pleasurable to play. The mechanics of the game are intelligent, and the rules are designed very well. AD&D was never this much fun, despite the fact I was 10 the last time I played it. So anyway, back to the drivel....
But the spirituality of the game spoke so deeply to me where no other ideal has, its slowly forced me to re-evaluate my self image, and make adjustments for my continual evolution as a living creature on this remarkable planet.
Where I once so ardently pursued the ability to ascend to my spirits physical form, that being a moderately sized timber wolf, dissapointment, rejection from holy men and shamans whose help and counsel I sought slowly made this insatiable and desperate need to slough off my human form ebb as time has passed. This does not mean I like being a human any more then before; certainly not. However, I've altered my path so as not to balk at whatever purpose my incarnation in this life as a human is to serve. Well, I *try* not to balk too much, anyway.
So, I've accepted that Mother Gaia has a need for me to be where I am as I am. I've accepted that I am human and wolf. I've often wondered why I chose to be a human in this incarnation, and I believe it's my insatiable desire for knowledge, and understanding. Complacency has never been a trait I posessed, appearantly even in the face of my Mother's Wisdom. Maybe next time I'll believe Her when She tells me I'll be sorry. Sigh.
So, I call myself Garou. A wolf in humans clothing. I am, and always have been connected to nature in a way few understand. I hear the whisper of tree Spirits, I posess an uncanny ability to communicate with canines. I place my ear to the earth and I hear Her heartbeat. Moonlight is to me what sunlight is to a flower, and I proudly howl to Her my joys and sorrows. Nature documentaries fill me with joy and pain, joy at seeing those whom I consider my brothers, and sorrow that I cannot join them.
I am wolf, and I am man. I am Garou. It's not a game, nor am I pretending. It dictates choices in my life, it forms and affects every aspect of who I am. As stated, I dont expect everyone to understand these things, and they dont have to. Some will possibly ridicule, others might be afraid to breach the subject, and others might even go so far as to call it evil, and blasphemy. To those people, I gleefully present my furry ass for you to plant a big smewch on.
As for other mundanities, I am a professional driver for a moderately sized company, am an avid video gamer, both on consoles and the PC......regardless of how poorly I get along with technology spirits. Games like Castlevania, Mega Man, Contra, Street Fighter, Halo, Wolfenstein and Resident Evil are my bread and butter. And I have to say Red XIII from Final Fantasy VII is hella sexy....
I am also quite the automotive enthusiast, enjoying both off roading in my highly modified 4x4, and cruising in the poor mans Ferrari, the Datsun Z, of which I own two. I have been places and seen things folks who drive exclusively on roads can only dream about.
I am a voracious reader, I absolutely love the works of David Eddings, Terry Brooks, Pier Xanthany,
Dean Koontz, and honestly....if you havent done so already, the Harry Potter books are absolutely engrossing and engaging, brilliantly written....I didnt stop till I finished the first 3. If you are of the wolfen persuasion, I can provide a list of the best werewolf/wolf books I have had the fortune to have read and own.
In the realm of music, my tastes range from AC/DC to celtic spiritual, to 80's(I LOVE the 80's....the music of my life..) to a spectacular artist named Jon Serrie. He composes music for planetariums, and is the most fulfilling, and emotionally satisfying music Ive ever heard. Usually all the art I draw is done to his music.
Pop Culture also feeds my brain, and I have an extensive, and ever-growing library of DVD's the likes of which include Princess Mononoke, Balto, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Oliver & Company, Snatch, Highlander, Indiana Jones, Twister, Pitch Black and Big Trouble In Little China.
So uh.....I guess thats about it. Well, then theres that whole Hyperfur thing.....
One more thing. If anyone can read the glyph at the top of this page, I'll drawl you something, cuz that makes you one smart two-leg. Or someone that can read Glyph Language.